Saturday, May 28, 2011

opinions, please!

ok...

facebook friend question here... just because you went to high school with someone, does that mean you have to be friends with them on facebook??

i was a senior class officer, thus, making me eternally partially responsible for the organization of our high school reunions--so, at some point, i do need to get in touch with some of these people...

please try to answer with more than a "yes" or "no"...

gosh, if i wasn't so dern nosy, i could delete about 800 people off of my facebook...

i'm really wanting to cut back, but feel some sort of "obligation" to keep some people on my facebook that i really couldn't care less about...

please respond even if you're an "anonymous" reader... i really want to get lots of opinions here.

thoughts?

ready... set... GO!

9 comments:

the bennetts said...

if i wasn't friends with them i'm highschool, i am not friends on facebook with them now. period.

if i run into someone from highschool and they decide to talk to me and we discuss life since then, etc and actually enjoy it (rather than the how-fast-can-i-get-out-of-this-conversation feel) and then they request fb friendship, then i may say yes.

but no. other than that. no. i don't care about them and they don't care about me, and i don't want them looking at my family or my babies or knowing what i'm doing or the moods i'm in. mostly because i don't care about theirs. nothing mean, just don't care.

i also go through my friends list every few months and weed out the ones that somehow got through. if i ever "hide" a friend from my newsfeed, chances are, they shouldn't be my fb friend.

is that enough of an opinion? just say no. most people won't because they feel bad. first of all, when i request someone, i usually forget that i did until i see a few days later that "so and so has accepted your friend request". and i go "oh yeah, i forgot i requested them". so don't worry about making them feel bad if you say no. if i say no and someone keeps asking, i block them. not out of being mean, but because of all the reasons above. and that's my final answer. BLEH!

Courtney said...

If they're already your friends, I say leave them until after the reunion, just for the convenience of planning, but don't add any in the meantime. Dealing with a nearly identical situation, here. Senior Class Secretary. I don't think there's a really good answer, though.

Megan said...

For some reason I feel obligated to accept friend requests even though I don't really care about the person. I guess I feel like it's rejecting them in a way.

I really want to cut back my FB friends big time. Part of the reason I rarely post pics, info, etc. is because I don't want all those people seeing all of it. Kinda defeats the purpose of having to "add" someone.

So yes I do add people I don't care about, but no I don't want to and will probably change that soon.

Perhaps you can make another FB account just for the purpose of getting in touch with people for reunions and just keep basic info on there that you don't want to share with the world.

Rachel said...

My standard is: if I wasn't friends with them in high school, I don't add them. Also, if I've been Facebook friends with someone, but I don't recognize their picture or their name, then I feel ok with removing them.

I say, create a Facebook group for your HS class, and invite all of your HS friends to it. Then, after the reunion (or whenever) slowly start unfriending people, starting with the people you knew the least.

That's just my opinion :)

Analee said...

if there is no mutual friendship - as in you don't care about them and they don't care about you, then you should just cut them. just don't announce it. that is the most annoying thing in the world for people to SAY they are going to cut people and then say "you made the cut" you know what i mean? i'd just do it.

i used to have this HUGE list of friends (though not as big as yours) and i got really tired of reading the long long long list of updates when really it not that many of people that i was really interested in. so, i purged. i got rid of all the "old friends" (who weren't really friends, just "people from high school that i knew [of]). that got rid of most of them. then there were still a lot of annoying updates so i purged again. this time, i even cut distant cousins and people like that that i really didn't care about reading their updates (even a sister in law that i don't like and some of nathaniel's friends that i don't really know that well, which they all DID notice and i ended up having to add back with a lame excuse about "i don't know what happened!" because they said something...)

anyway, i haven't missed anyone. my updates are now all from people that are interesting, that i have things in common with, and that i like. as a matter of a fact, very few are from my high school year. most are people i met along the way - like you.

there IS a class of 1993 EWHS page on facebook, maybe there is one for you. if there isn't, maybe you should create one and offer it to all those "friends" before you purge (if you decide to do it).

good luck. just remember it is YOUR page. and you can do with it what YOU want. you can have whatever friends YOU want to have and you don't have to please anyone but YOURSELF. it's just the internet after all. it is not reality. :)

Nadine Skinner said...

I have the same problem. And my thinking is that if you were not my friend in HS and have not cared about me since then, then you are not my friend now. I have befriended some people who I knew way back and we have reconnected and enjoy that. I have also defriended some people who annoy me (some family included). And I have to admit I have been hurt by former friends who have not friended me on FB. But those folks can grow up!

The Comptons said...

you and I are alike in someways but not alike in others (which makes us unique!)

we are both nosey and want to know what everyone is up to that we went to school with, even if we were not friends or only said hey in passing...on the other hand i feel obligated to add people which the hannah i have known would not add someone just because...
I guess you just have to go with your gut...would you want to be associated with that person? You are a mom now so if Eden was older and accidently got on your facebook, would you be ok if she saw that persons page?

They dont get a message saying that they got denied...if you dont feel like they are your friend and if you dont want them knowing about your life, I wouldnt do it. If it would be no harm and you are interested in what they are up to, go ahead and if you need to delete them, do that :)

That person is going to be listed as a "friend" of yours on facebook whether you are friends or not so I guess what I'm saying is that if you dont mind others associating you with that person, then add them...or the other way around...

LOVE YOU! hope this run on helped lol

Poirier Family said...

for me facebook has opened so many doors. I was soooooo shy in highschool that people thought I was a bitch (not the case at all I'm a sweet heart). Now that I have chatted with them they see me different. So weird how highschool can be. So from my point I would keep them if you chat with them. If you don't and could care less get rid of them.

Also my reason for keeping people I went to school with is for a business point. I have sold many things I have made and I have gotten jobs because I added them as friends.

The the biggest reason to keep them if you didn't like them you get to show off how happy and lucky you are!!!! lol!!!!

House of Sykes said...

generally, if i am not friends in "real life" with a person, i am not facebook friends with them either.

if i wouldn't speak to them in target, i am not friends with them on facebook.

i don't want to be fb friends with people so they can be nosey. i want to be fb friends with them so we can keep up with each other lives because we actually care about each other lives.

that's my two cents!!