friends...

lately i've had the topic of friends on my mind lately... a very b r o a d topic of friends...

good ones... bad ones...

close ones... far away ones

new ones... lifelong ones...

needy ones... giving ones

used-to-be ones...

the ones that will tell you what you want to hear... and the ones that will tell you the truth (well, when what you want to hear is different from that)

church friends... work friends...

the circle of friends... and the ones you have outside of that circle...

family friends... friends that just happen to be family

lee's friends... my friends... the ones we know as a couple... the ones we know individually...

and what kind of friend i am... and where i fit in the mix

and perhaps what kind of "friend" i'd like to teach babyhop to be one day... and what type of friend i am to lee... and him to me...

i am so richly and deeply blessed by the number and depth of friends (yes, i'm deeply blessed by the depth of my friends...ha!) that i have... i am sooo appreciative of each one of them... and in their own way... not as a whole, but each person means something uniquely different and special to me...

after a long, deep conversation with a friend last night (one outside of my usual circle, but someone i've known for a pretty long time & have developed what i'd consider to be a special relationship--one who knows not too much about your history & is open and willing to share things just for that reason--a new side of things...you know who you are), i've come to realize that perhaps some of the most important friends are ones outside of the usual circle... someone who gives you a chance to gain perspective on something you might be a little to close to clearly see...

...its kind of like when you're a part of one of those card stunts at a football game... and you're the one holding a card...and your "circle friends" are all holding cards, too... but there's that person on the other side of the stadium who can see (and help you see) the big picture...

like this...

maybe its the hormones... maybe its just life... but over the last few months, i've felt a bit of friend-shift...

...most likely due to living and life circumstances in general... its not that i don't love/miss my friends that i used to have more in common with... its just that life seems to take us different places & we need people with those same understandings and commonplace... and of course, the ones that we don't have as much in common with are tons of fun to "catch up" with... sorta like living vicariously in a different life!... am i making any sense?

i have friends that have moved away... but are now back close to home... ones that have always been close to home, but have moved away... and its not like i have a "cabinet" of friends--where one is replaced by another's role... but oddly (and sadly) enough, somehow, it really does work that way... afterall, you only have 24 hours in a day... and only so much time to spend with those closest to you...

part of me wishes that it really wasn't this way... but there's the eternal optimist in me who is thankful that it works that way... afterall, life seems to be about prioritizing and making choices...

maybe its a part of growing up & losing touch with some childhood friends, at the same time loving new friends and building new relationships...

and sometimes i do wonder about the role of a friendship... when sometimes friends don't always agree... when should a friend remain supportive? and when should a friend voice their opinion? and i certainly don't think friends should agree on everything...

or is it a wave... an ebb and flow of friends? a continual process of losing & regaining touch with friends...

maybe i'm rambling again... maybe not... but these are just my thoughts and trying to make sense of this crazy and sometimes cruel world we live in...

none of this i'm too sure about, but i do know that i want to be the best friend that i can be to each of my friends... i think they deserve it! :)

i'm not sure why i've put sooo much thought into this lately... but lee and i have had lots of "friend time" recently (which i strongly believe is a necessary part of a healthy husband/wife relationship)... and i wonder what sort of friends babyhop will have... and what sort of friend babyhop will BE...

and perhaps that friend time has reminded me of how thankful i am for my friends & the time that i have with them... and i wonder what kind of friend they think i am... what kind of support i'm able to offer them

i could just ramble on all night, but...you get the idea... i've enjoyed my "thought journey" over the past few days and look forward to taking more soon on different subjects... i think its good for me! :) and who knows, i might even pick up the phone and try to get in touch with some old friends...or go out of my way to make new ones hmph...